Unspoken Pleasure

It was another boring day in late May. Temperatures starting to warm in anticipation of a much needed summer after a harsh winter. Sitting at home with nothing to do, contemplating how my life ever got to this point? I'm a married 36 year old with one daughter, who is soon ready to graduate from High School. My husband of 17 years has been a great provider. We have all the niceties and comforts that one would want; a beautiful home with a large backyard with pool and spa, membership at an exclusive country club, the nicest cars, etc. We had every materialistic want met due to the success and hard work of my husband. But was that all there was to my life? My husband worked long hours and traveled extensively so he was rarely home for me and our daughter, Ginny. Emotionally I was in need of love and reassurance from my husband but deficient in both.

We lived in an exclusive neighborhood in the suburbs west of Chicago. A very serene lifestyle but as time passed, a mundane existence. I met my husband in college and became pregnant with Ginny early on. We married and I dropped out of college to raise our daughter. Don't get me wrong I loved every moment of being a mother. I immersed myself in making sure that Ginny was always the top priority in our life. Maybe that's why after 17 years of marriage I feel so emotionally deficient. Feeling unloved and unappreciated by my husband. I am sure he also has similar feelings but being so busy with work they probably aren't as evident to him as they are to mine. Now as I faced the prospect of literally becoming an empty nester I was overwhelmed with an emptiness and impending sadness.

My husband is never around and when he is, "he isn't around", if you understand what I mean. In a couple of months my best friend, Ginny, will be off to college leaving me alone and devoid of immediate warmth, care, and love. I dreaded the thought.

I couldn't understand why my husband seems so unaware of my needs, both from an intimacy and sex standpoint but also from a friendship standpoint. It almost like I am just part of the house and I don't exist. I've worked hard to keep my youthful physique. I am 5'6" and weigh a 120 lbs. I have a short pixie blond cut with blue eyes. I think I have a nice body, one that men would find attractive if I was interested in that. So I was perplexed as to why my husband did not make me feel loved and wanted. The thought crossed my mind that he might be having an affair but I think in reality the only affair he is having is with his job.

As is typical of my husband, even though we were coming up on the Memorial Day Holiday weekend, he had to be out of town at a convention entertaining clients. At least the weather was supposed to be unseasonably warm. Maybe some quality pool time is just what I needed to perk me up. Some natural Vitamin D is always good for your soul. My daughter was going to sleep at her friends house Friday night and then was planning on having a pool party at our house on Memorial Day Monday.

As I was making mental notes of what I needed to do for the pool party my door bell rang. I approached the door to see my good friend, Emma waiting for me to let her in. Emma is 38 years old and divorced with 2 children. She is my crazy side to my boring life but I love her dearly.

As soon as I opened the door Emma raced inside screaming and waving some tickets in the air, "Andrea, look what I have? We are going to have a blast tomorrow night! Please tell me that your husband is out of town? Please! Please!" I laughed and said, "Emma slow down. What are you all worked up about?" By the way Emma is not a big fan of my husband so she is always trying to keep me busy and entertained while I'm home alone.novelbin

She shrieked, "Only two hard to get tickets to the hottest most exclusive party tomorrow night at Crickets and we are going!"

I immediately began to think of reasons not to attend. "I don't know Emma. I'm not into Crickets. That's more of a young crowd and I'm more suburban housewife." I said with a little smirk.

"Don't give me that crap. You are a beautiful young woman that needs to enjoy yourself. We are getting dressed up and we are going! No excuses. Besides knowing you, your Friday night is wide open. I'm not taking no for an answer."

I smiled inwardly glad to know that I had such a fun and caring friend. "Okay Emma. I'll go for at least awhile. I have no idea what I can wear that won't make me look like a suburban housewife."

Emma grabbed my hand and pulled me up the stairs, "Let's go see what we have to work with then we can decide if we need to go on shopping spree."

When we got to my room I laughed as she raced into my closet like a little girl in a candy store. "Let's see what we have to work with."

I stepped aside and watched my friend tear through my clothes in search of something that she would deem appropriate knowing full well she wouldn't find anything to her liking. Finally after what seemed like an hour she threw her hands up and shouted, "You dress like you are a 50 year old housewife. What is the matter with you? You are a beautiful young woman. Let's go. We need to get you an outfit that will wow everyone tomorrow night."

I gasped in frustration, "I am married woman. Help me understand why I need to wow everyone tomorrow night?"

Emma shook her head and sighed, "Because it will make you feel better about yourself. You will see what I mean when you notice all eyes on you. Trust me girlfriend you need a little boost in the self esteem category. Now stop stalling and let's go."

We went shopping at various stores before I finally agreed on an outfit. I think I agreed more because I was tired and frustrated rather than the look of the outfit. It wasn't anything I would have bought by myself but Emma was persuasive as was the sales lady. It was a sexy little black pullover dress with spaghetti straps. Unreasonably short for my normal standards. It was low cut on the back and showed ample cleavage on top. I didn't see how I could wear a bra which made me feel uneasy. We left the store and made a quick stop to get some opened toe black heels.

Emma was so excited she was beside herself with glee. By the time we got back home I was regretting having ever agreed to this cockamamie idea. I was already making plans in my mind to back out. I thanked Emma before she left and told myself to sleep on it and see how I felt tomorrow.